Ceremony rituals
Rituals can be a lovely way to recognise your culture(s) or to involve friends and family in your ceremony. They can form “peak moments” in your ceremony that make it memorable for you and your guests. The exchange of rings is the most common wedding ritual in the Western World, but there are many other wedding, commitment and renewal rituals you could include in your ceremony, if you choose. Here are a few examples.
Handfasting
Handfasting is an ancient Celtic tradition, predating Christianity. It is the origin of the phrase “tying the knot”. The couple’s hands are bound together using ribbon or a chord. This bond represents the bond of marriage into which they are entering.
In ancient times, the couple may have remained bound until being escorted to the marital bed, but that seems a little overdone today!
More commonly, the couple may participate in a toast, perhaps using the Quaich (see below) or even recite their vows while bound.
Drinking from the Quaich
The use of the Quaich or "loving cup" is a distinctly Scottish wedding tradition. The quaich is an ornate two-handled silver drinking cup. It is filled with whisky and used in a range of ways. Traditionally, once the couple were legally married, the bride drinks from the cup, then passes it to the groom who drinks what she has left. Today the cup is often passed around the wedding party for everyone to enjoy a dram of whisky.
The fact that the cup has two handles is important. It must be held by both handles when drunk from. In the past, weddings may have brought together two clans and those clans may have had a history of discord. In holding the quaich with two hands the drinker was showing trust in the other clan, by virtue of not being able to hold a weapon. The quaich may have then been passed around amongst the clan elders from both clans to demonstrate the same trust.
Tasting the Four Elements
Tasting the four elements is an old African ritual. The bride and groom taste four flavours that represent the different emotions found in a relationship.
1. Sour (lemon) - there may be sour times that develop in marriage
2. Bitter (vinegar) - bitter problems may be encountered
3. Hot (pepper) - there will be hot and testing times in the marriage
4. Sweet (honey) - there will be sweet and delicious times in the marriage.
By tasting each of the flavours, the couple symbolically demonstrates that they will be able to get through the hard times in life - they can 'weather the storm' and, in the end, remain and enjoy the sweetness of love and marriage
Ring Warming
If you are exchanging rings in your ceremony, you may like to have the rings “warmed”.
This ritual involves having your rings passed amongst your guests prior to your exchange. Each guest holds your rings and offers their blessing or good thoughts for your marriage.
From a logistics viewpoint, this ritual is best used in smaller ceremonies as it may take some time to have your rings circulated amongst all guests.
A twist on this ritual is to just ask the married couples amongst your guests to form a ring around you and have them warm the rings with their best advice for a happy marriage.
Unity Candle
This ritual will involve lighting a ceremonial candle in various ways.
It might involve the couple both lighting a larger candle from their own smaller candles as a symbol of their two life forces becoming one.
It might also involve both sets of parents lighting a small candle, passing it to their child, who then light a ceremonial candle representing the union of their two families.
If the wedding involves a blended family coming together, then children of the couple may also participate in the candle lighting.
Sand Ceremony
This ritual involves coloured sand being poured into a vessel of some kind (typically clear glass, which creates an artefact that is kept as a reminder of the ceremony and its purpose.)
It might involve either just the couple taking turns to pour a different colour of sand into the vessel, or perhaps, each set of parents taking turns to pour in the sand that represents their family, then the couple pouring in their sand representing the union of those families and the creation of something new.
For a marriage involving existing children, it might also involve them pouring their sand into the vessel representing the joining of the two families into a blended family.
Love Lock
This ritual involves the couple locking a symbolic padlock, usually engraved with their names and ceremony date to a permanent object. By locking the padlock and throwing away the key, the couple symbolises that there is no turning back, they are now inseparable
Love locks have often been joined to public architecture, like bridges (esp. in Paris) en masse. No local council is going to thank you for doing so today. The upkeep on public buildings and structures is impeded by the sometimes hundreds of deteriorating locks. That said, if you have a family farm or multi-generational property there might be somewhere you will repeatedly visit and be reminded of your commitment, without annoying a local council!
Dove Release
In this ritual a white “dove” is released. Typically, it will actually be a white homing pigeon provided by a professional supplier. They may be released by hand or from a decorative cage depending on the comfort of those involved in the ritual. Always outside!
Doves are commonly used to represent peace, purity and fidelity; they choose and keep a mate for life. Releasing doves into the sky raises our eyesight to the heavens and lifts our spirits.
In the case of a wedding, a pair of doves may be released after you have been pronounced husband and wife to symbolise your marriage taking flight; independent of the family you came from but in unison with the partner you have just taken.
That’s just a little inspiration for what’s possible. We can incorporate any kind of ritual you think will help make your ceremony the best day of your life.
